I've moved!

My new website is up, although it's still a little under construction. It's jaerandall.com
All of my updates will be there. So check it out!
Hope to see you there!

Details

The bane of my existence.
I'm really good at coming up with a story, and really good at writing it. But then I re-read it and realize that it could be so much better if I just knew how to add detail. And it's not even the big things. It's the little things that I read in other people's books and love, but can't figure out how to utilize in mine.
Take the first few pages of Poison Study. She describes where the main character is and what she's going through so well that you feel like you're there, you feel like you, yourself, are being led to the gallows to die. It's amazing.
I've come to figure out that I'm really bad at "showing" and not "telling". And I know that it's something that comes with practice. Sometimes I feel like I do a really good job, and then I read over it and think "that's not nearly as good as I thought it was".
Does anyone else have this problem?
Does anyone have suggestions on how to fix it?

More Dialogue exercises

            “Move over an inch.”

            “I can’t. There’s a wall there.”

            “Well, I can’t see.”

            “Be glad. Also, keep your voice down. They’ll hear you.”

            “What are they doing?”

            “The black guy is sitting down. The guys in suits are standing around him. I think they’re trying to convince him to do something.”

            “And I think we should get out of here. What if they see us?”

            “They’re not going to see us.”

            “If you can see them, they can see you.”

            “Well, they’re going to see us if you keep babbling. Shut up.”

            “What are they doing now?”

            “The boss guy just slapped the black guy.”

            “Maybe we should call the police.”

            “What would we say? Hey these guys are here and one of them just got slapped?”

            “Well I’m leaving. Stay if you want. But the guys are waiting, and I want pizza.”

            “Yeah, yeah. I’ll be there in a bit, ya chicken.”

            “I’m not a chicken!”

            “Of course you’re not.”

            “I’m just hungry. And what’s going on down there isn’t any of our business.”

            “Oh crap!”

            “What?”

            “I think they just saw me.”

            “Run?”

            “Run!”

We did dialogue exercises in my writing group last night. This definitely isn't my best work, but I'm using it as encouragement for other to do the same. It's good practice, especially if you're bad at dialogue, like I am. I am getting better. The trick is to try to make the two different voices so different enough that you can tell who is talking and see the story in your head without outside description. For a better example, visit Brandon Sanderson's blog. He has good examples of everything. :D