“Move
over an inch.”
“I
can’t. There’s a wall there.”
“Well,
I can’t see.”
“Be
glad. Also, keep your voice down. They’ll hear you.”
“What
are they doing?”
“The
black guy is sitting down. The guys in suits are standing around him. I think
they’re trying to convince him to do something.”
“And
I think we should get out of here. What if they see us?”
“They’re
not going to see us.”
“If
you can see them, they can see you.”
“Well,
they’re going to see us if you keep babbling. Shut up.”
“What
are they doing now?”
“The
boss guy just slapped the black guy.”
“Maybe
we should call the police.”
“What
would we say? Hey these guys are here and one of them just got slapped?”
“Well
I’m leaving. Stay if you want. But the guys are waiting, and I want pizza.”
“Yeah,
yeah. I’ll be there in a bit, ya chicken.”
“I’m
not a chicken!”
“Of
course you’re not.”
“I’m
just hungry. And what’s going on down there isn’t any of our business.”
“Oh
crap!”
“What?”
“I
think they just saw me.”
“Run?”
“Run!”
We did dialogue exercises in my writing group last night. This definitely isn't my best work, but I'm using it as encouragement for other to do the same. It's good practice, especially if you're bad at dialogue, like I am. I am getting better. The trick is to try to make the two different voices so different enough that you can tell who is talking and see the story in your head without outside description. For a better example, visit Brandon Sanderson's blog. He has good examples of everything. :D
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